Entertainment

7 signs you’ve been single for too long

Published

7 years ago

October 28, 2016

When was the last time you got to take an idyllic stroll in the park, or kiss your lover under the mistletoe? It just isn’t fair how the festive periods reminds us of all this!

If you’ve been single for a while, here are seven signs that you’ve been single for far too long.

If A Guy Checks You Out, There Has To Be Something On Your Face: It’s not only been so long since you were last in a relationship, but it’s also been so long since a guy even checked you out.

In fact, it’s been so long that when a guy does check you out now, you instantly assume that you’ve got something on your face, such as a boil, a wart – or even a piece of food.

Everyone Wants To Set You Up: When you’ve been single for too, you start getting set up on pity dates by every friend you’ve ever had – including ones you haven’t seen since high school.

“I’ve got the perfect guy for you!” Only, he isn’t perfect, and neither were the 234 other “perfect” guys.

You Prefer Napping To Going On A Date: An essential part of your single life these days is taking a nap. You probably can’t even survive a day without a 60 minute power nap in the early evening anymore, and you’ll cancel all new plans before you skip a nap. After all, you’ve got no man in your life to spend time with, so what else are you going to do?

You’ll even cancel a date if the guy can only make it during power nap time. After all, there’s just no way you’re going to lose your beauty sleep for a guy.

You’ve Already Considered Freezing Your Eggs: You haven’t even casually dated someone for ages, never mind planned a family with someone! As such, you’ve already looked into the possibilities of freezing your eggs or even adopting a child. Hey, it seems like more of a reality right now than starting a family with a real man!

You Wonder About Possibilities: “Can you marry yourself?” you tap into Google late at night. “Does living with a cat mean you’re technically in a relationship?”

Your Grandma Has Stopped Asking About Your Love Life: It’s always been your grandmothers wish that she’ll get to see you settle down with a nice man before she dies. As such, she’s been asking about you and your love life since you were sixteen.

Now, though, she’s tired of asking. She just wants to be left in peace to watch her gameshows and soaps.

You Know The Worst Day Of The Year Is February 14th: When you’d been single for a year, you probably had a good giggle at yourself when Valentine’s Day came around.

“I’m in my pyjamas eating ice cream in my favourite TV-watching position. What is my life?” you ask yourself with a pinch of humour.

Fast-forward five years and you can no longer laugh when Valentine’s Day comes around. This is no joke anymore. This is like a broken record that nobody is switching off.

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