9 parenting terms you never knew you needed

They sure are needed in today’s world as a parent and these terms are not in any dictionary yet but they are currently now being used by some parents to describe some scenarios in child parent relationship and interaction.

Listed below are nine parenting terms you never knew you needed as a parent.

Commoncorefloored: The inevitability that you won’t be able to help your child with her math homework because, no matter in which decade you went to high school, the way you learned is no longer “right.”

Facebook-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: When you share the incredibly profound thing your 4-year-old says with your Facebook friends, only to read it the next day and realize it makes no sense whatsoever and that you’re just exhausted.

Häagenhording: The perfectly justifiable burying of the premium ice cream in the way back of the freezer because your kids’ taste buds are in no way sufficiently sophisticated to appreciate the difference between a N500 pint and a freezer-burned bargain brand.

Momjerk reaction: A surge of junior competitiveness toward another mother when she mentions that her same-age kid is learning to code in Scratch while yours is still all about Minecraft.

Read also: Real reason your mom does not like your funky boyfriends

Momsplanation: The perfectly age-appropriate, measured, honest yet mortifying definition you give for a grown-up word your child asks about. Then you discover that he meant “prosecution,” not “prostitution.”

Outgroan: The sound you make when your second-grader no longer fits into the N700 blue blazer you bought him a month ago for his spring concert.

Punishment bluff: The profound relief you feel that your child finally put the Lego pieces away, because you’d threatened to confiscate his electronics if he didn’t—and you just didn’t have the energy to enforce it.

Sayyouresorry(notsorry): When you force your child to apologize for something rude she said—such as that Grandpa’s new girlfriend’s boobies look fake— and that you secretly agree with.

Snowsuitpoopensigh: That deflated feeling you have when you finally get your 2-year-old into her sweater during harmattan and then smell something funny. You briefly consider just letting her go play anyway but then sigh and start unwrapping her and cleaning her up, at which point she’s ready for a nap.

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