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Brutal signs that indicate you are not ready to start dating again

Published

8 years ago

March 31, 2016

Brutal signs that indicate you are not ready to start dating again

There are brutal signs to look out for that indicate you are not ready to start dating again. A common problem that single women face is when a long-term relationship ends, and their feelings for their ex continue for months or even longer.

Just because you’re single again, doesn’t necessarily mean the love or attachment you felt for your ex is gone. You probably still have days when you feel rattled because the person you spent so much time with is now a stranger.

Feeling empty and lost is normal during the post-breakup or post-divorce healing process. One way we try to get over the hurt of a relationship ending is to “get back out there” and find someone new. The desire to date again can feel strong. You may even think you’re ready. But, just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re actually over your ex and ready to date again.

Here are 3 signs that you are so NOT ready to date…

1. You Have A Victim Mentality: It makes you powerless to heal and grow because you’re stuck in your hurt (almost addicted to it). You feel robbed of your self-esteem and self-worth. You focus endlessly on how wronged you were and only see your ex’s fault in why the relationship fell apart.

You’ll never find new love until you let go of being the victim and reclaim your personal power. You can begin to do this by forgiving yourself (and your ex) through the process of knowing and believing that you each did the best you could.

Take time to reconnect with yourself and what you value most, so you can attract the relationship that you deserve without compromising who you are at your core.

2. You Don’t Know What You Want: Before you start dating again, it’s important to identify what it is that you want in your next relationship. A good place to start is by taking an inventory of all your past relationships complaints. Make a list of what you don’t want in a relationship. It’s healing to get it out and then use it to springboard into identifying what you do desire.

But, it’s critical that you clear on the positive relationship you do want to have. Otherwise, without clarity, you’ll stumble into the exact same relationship dynamic that hurt you in the past.

3. You Feel Desperate: Of course, no one wants to admit he or she feels desperate, but I’ll bet you’re having a difficult time detaching from your anxious ache to start dating again. Wanting love too much actually causes you to repel it.

That desperation causes you to trip yourself up and sabotage your new relationships. Believing that you need someone else’s love to feel complete yourself is always a road to drama and conflict. Instead, wait awhile. Heal some more. And then approach finding a new relationship from a place of peace. Understand that yes, being in love would feel wonderful, but you won’t die without it.

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