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Naughty Wife’s Diary: Village Show

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Being a wife is not always a walk in the park. you’ve already signed to love and cherish one man for the rest of your life, so, you’ve got to keep it that way no matter the internal and external intrusions.

I still have Vickyslut to keep from dragging my beau to bed and now I have family members to contend with. Joey has returned, and this time around with a vengeance. He has raised an army and is coming for the kill.

It started with a call from my dear mother-in-law. After pleasantries she let me know that Joey has been causing problems at home, trying to convince them to force Jimmy to divorce me and take a fertile wife.

Fertile wife ko, manure land ni.

I hissed over the phone. Let them come and open my body and cultivate corn inside it.

Mama sighed. ‘Just don’t mind him.’

But of course I minded him. I waited for the onslaught, I got ready mentally. I said a prayer about it. Yes, I pray too. That I like bedroom dance a lot doesn’t mean I am a heretic.

It is a wonder how people associate lovemaking with sin. As if God created the human body and the devil sneaked in to attach the genitals.

Well, next day, Jimmy received a call that there was going to be a family meeting over the weekend. I had the mind to try and convince him not to go because I knew what was going down. I encouraged him to go. In fact, I volunteered to escort him. ‘I’d like to see the family.’

We left Friday afternoon and made it to the family house by evening. Mama welcomed us. She whispered to me aside. ‘I am not in support of this but I know you can handle them. God will give you children when the time comes.’

I nodded. I tried to hide the teary eyes by looking away. I followed my husband inside, towards the room we always use anytime we are around. Along the passage, we ran into Joey and two of his accomplices, gossiping. The men with my brother-in-law were some uncles I hardly knew. The look in their faces showed they were here to get me.

I went to the kitchen to see what’s for dinner. I met mama there, we prepared the meal and she let me in on all the plans and conspiracies going on behind my back. ‘Joey and his uncles think Jimmy should get another wife,’ she told me. ‘I told them it is not going to work but they insisted they talk to Jimmy directly. I allowed this meeting so that they can hear it with their own ears and see with their own eyes that Jimmy is not ready to marry another woman.’

I knew things mama wasn’t telling me too. Joey must have convinced the uncles that I was a witch who tied down his brother.

Well, after dinner, which I had privately with Jimmy. I broke out the bottle of wine I came with and went to the kitchen to get glasses. I ran into Joey and his co-conspirators planning. They saw me and entered their rooms, close to ours. I smiled one of my evilest smiles.

Back in our room, I had a mini-celebration with Jimmy and turned in for the night, but then, I wasn’t finished for the day. Soon, Jimmy was perusing my inner sanctum, and I let out a moan that shook the building.

Jimmy stopped. ‘Don’t shout like that, we are not alone. The whole village can hear you.’

‘It’s not my fault. They’d shout too if they were in my position.’

He moved in me again and this time, the groan and moan was louder and more stretched out. He stopped again. Even when he stopped, I was still moaning and groaning, and screaming my head off in fake ecstasy.

When it subsided, Jimmy asked me. ‘Are you alright? Or are you up to something?’

I giggled.

The next morning, in the meeting, everybody was quiet and trying to avoid my eyes.

Jimmy looked around. ‘What is this meeting all about?’

Joey shot him a killer look. ‘Just be careful what you people do in this house. You are not the only one sleeping in this house. Your wife was practically yelling down the roof.’

‘Well,’ I replied him, looking at the uncles and an aunt who were around for the meeting, ‘that is how we do it every day, night and mornings, we make love all the time. At least you all now know that for us not having babies yet is not for lack of trying.’

Mama and the aunt giggled. Joey bristled, the uncles looked away.

‘May I know why we are here today?’ Jimmy asked again, trying not to laugh.

‘We want to discuss your father’s 10th year anniversary. We want it to be big this time around. Very big’ one of the uncles blurted out.

‘What?’ Joey screamed at the uncle. ‘That is not why we are here?’

I hid a smile behind my palm. Mama had a hard time keeping a straight face.

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