When mothers murder their babies

By Ify Chiemeziem . . .

I saw a newborn baby thrown away in a rubbish dumb in Calabar. His mother put him in a polythene bag with his umbilical cord still attached. The baby died before it could be rescued.

Another one was thrown away in Kogi, but luckily she was found early enough by passersby and she was bathed and taken to an orphanage.

Another mother bludgeoned her newborn baby to death while one actually threw hers out of the window from the top floor of an apartment building, smashing the baby to death.

As horrendous as these crimes sound, they happen every day around us. Babies are being murdered every day while we watch, nonchalantly, only to curse out the mothers and then go back to work normally.

Then, in another scenario, a girl sold her “unwanted” baby to another woman but was caught, arrested and charged for the act.

And I want to ask, between killing and selling a baby, which one is preferable and more humane? I’d prefer a baby be given away, or sold instead of being murdered in cold blood.

This may be signs of the end time, but then we should not fold our hands and watch evil being perpetuated. This is akin to the killing of twins that took place in the years gone by. If it were today, we would have been tempted to label the twins-killing a sign of end time, and probably do nothing but to expect the Armageddon to be unleashed.
But a simple woman, Mary Slessor did differently. She tried her best to bring to an end the killing of twins even putting her life on the line. I would never castigate a woman who gave her child away. She is already suffering for giving a part of her away after nurturing it in her womb for nine months and she will live the rest of her life in torment, knowing that her child is somewhere, far way or nearby and she will never know.

The bad word here is “sell”. If a woman needs to go back to school, or have enough money to feed her other starving children, I believe if she was monetarily compensated by the couple who wanted her baby, it is not really bad.

I know of a woman who had six children and then she fell pregnant when her jobless husband forced himself on her during her ovulation. She cried all the time, worrying how she was going to provide for her other already starving children then she was pregnant with no help in sight.

In this situation, you would not know what to say or do because the situation is dicey.
What makes a woman, a mother to carry her child to a nine months full-term, bearing all the attending difficulties and discomforts and then go through labour to bring the child into the world, then go ahead to murder the baby or throw it away in a dustbin or in the bush?

Instead of killing the babies, I believe it is best if the mothers give the children away to people who need them.
If such a woman “sells” her baby and then starts a trade to feed the other children, who are you to judge her?
What about a girl abandoned by her fiancé or boyfriend, or even husband, after she fell pregnant by him?

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There are pathetic stories you hear that would make your heart bleed, but none of them justifies the killing of a baby. What is needed is the best way to help.

Instead of killing the children, there should be accessible centres where “unwanted” babies are dropped off anonymously. And to offer help to mothers who wish to give their babies away to those who need them and also compensated monetarily to start a better life.

This should be done without much hassle for the mother. When a system is not regulated or friendly, desperate people abuse it.

This brings to mind a particular organization in South Africa that added a comfortable bin at the back of their facility where women are encouraged to anonymously drop the babies they don’t want. This was to curb the spate of babies killed in the country.

It would be helpful if religious bodies, NGOs and other agencies had similar plans or facilities in this country to encourage unfortunate mothers to drop off their babies instead of murdering them. They should be given a better and easier choice.

There should also be a kind of compulsory counseling facility for new mothers to combat postpartum depression in this country. There are ordinary women in this country, who are not aware that there is anything called postpartum depression that could cause a woman to harm herself or her baby, most especially women who lacked emotional or monetary support during their pregnancies. And they have never received any kind of psychological treatments.

The only woman I know, personally, who dumped her child in a pit latrine many years ago was jilted by her fiancé many months into her pregnancy.

While we bad-mouth women who threw their children away or murder them, we should also drag the men responsible for the pregnancies into the scene to take responsibility for their actions.

You cannot impregnate a woman then run away and expect your hands to be free of blood when the child is murdered due to your callousness. But then, women are like givers of life, it is their responsibility to safeguard the life of the baby God gave to them.

The creator designed procreation to involve both the man and woman. Period!
So, if a woman murdered her baby, the father should be complicit too, except he can prove that he wasn’t aware of the pregnancy and was willing to support the woman.

So, what do we do to save these angels? I have made my suggestions above, but that doesn’t mean they are the best or the only way.

What do you think? Share your thoughts

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