OPINION…Gender based violence: Why some men beat “their women”

The issue of Gender Based Violence is not one that many really understand. This act of battery against women by their male spouses (Woman Beaters), in many cases inflict harm on the victims and sometimes could lead to their death or that of a secondary victim (in the case of the loss of pregnancy)

A critical look at this issue will reveal it is as more of a fundamental problem which stems from the kind of environment in which a male child was incubated, the dominant picture that was transmitted to him about the feminine gender mostly during his formative or childhood years, it is therefore an issue where the deed is done in a place that is quit distant from the ‘theatre of war’.

In many crisis situations of this kind, whereas the attention is focused on the act or on the events that brought about it, which may be obvious to most people within the community of “peace-makers”, the real root of the matter is veiled from the public eye.

Its important to note here that the writer is averse to this draconian behavior and wants to aver that there is no way anyone, under any guise should justify the battery of a Woman or endorse any act of violence against women. It is an offense punishable by law and culprits should be made to go through punitive and corrective judicially prescribed processes so as to arrest any future occurrence. When strict legal, religious or traditional boundaries are set and maintained, it helps to regulate actions even when there may be the feeling to act otherwise.

We have to admit that this act of malhandling of the feminine gender has become more rampant in todays society, its rise has become so disturbing so much so that law enforcement agencies such as the Police have set up a unit specifically to tackle reported cases of gender violence. The Police I.G in a broadcast made months ago, announced that the such cases will now be classified and handled as criminal cases and not as domestic issues

To unmask the weak guerrilla in a “Women Beater” we need to understand that many men who beat women grew up within an environment which gave them that culture or mentality of disdain for the women folk, as a result they were inflicted with this erroneous perception that women are of a lesser caste, or an acquired property and not as their tender part which deserve to be loved, cherished and cared for.

READ ALSO: ‘Only weak men beat women,’ Apostle Suleman decries growing cases of domestic abuse in Nigeria

It should be clear that this weak obnoxious behavior should not be regarded as a “man thing” and hence should not be seen as something that comes natural with the men. The atmosphere that was created by parents for their boys, the parterns and examples set before them (if not the positive ones) are the real culprit in most cases.

Generally men (7 out of 10) replicate what they find in their fathers (or father figures) in terms of examples and temperaments. its been rightly said that “children learn by imitation”. it is therefore easy for a man to treat his wife the way his father treated his mother.

We only find exceptions when we have situations where a man having gained superior knowledge and understands the shortcomings of abusive behaviors, is determines to challenge his upbringing so as to have or experience better results in his life or relationships

An important point to note is that this issue is not limited to men, it’s exist also on the flip side, permit me to say that some women also engage in “man beating”. As ludicrous as this may sound, this usually occurs when “power changes hands”, and she sees herself as one with the muscular advantage. In some other situations, they devise means to physically harass a man , and employ varoius tactics to do so even to the point of grabbing him at the slightest provocation, which leaves the man helpless with little or no option but to resort to the use of some forceful technique to set himself loose from this “unique kind of bondage”

In cases where we have a man who grew up in an environment where no one ever laid hands on a woman, its very difficult for him to exhibit violent tendencies toward a woman no matter the circumstances. We need to consider this as an important tool for our young people, this will be of great value as we stand to save an unknown life in the future, as much as we may know that the home may not always be the perfect breeding environment for kids ,our the schools could also help

We need to emphasize to our young people that the real strength of a man does not lie in his muscles but his character, and that the feeling to demonstrate strength through battery by most ill mannered people is a brazen display of weakness.

They should be thought that real men know how to handle themselves when provoked by a woman, we should make them understand how not to abuse the weak or vulnerable, to limit their show of strength and adopt some better or more noble methods when there is the need to bring order to a charged situation, mostly when a woman is involved.

It is important that in raising male sons, we consider as vital, the need to device ways to educate them about the ills of gender violence, mentoring them on civility in their conduct towards the opposite side,and to respect the rights and liberty of the feminine gender

Our daughters should also learn to honor their men and be submissive (not in servitude) when they have a bonded relationship with a man, which in my estimation has become so scarce a commodity In our “nowadays” young woman.

By Allen Durueke…

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Articles published in our Graffiti section are strictly the opinion of the writers and do not represent the views of Ripples Nigeria or its editorial stand.

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