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Naughty Wife’s Diary: Steamy honey moon




I wish this week would never end, or maybe stretch on forever. Hmm! Jimmy is killing me with love o. In the morning he wakes me up with a kiss, that is after he has romanced me through the night o. My plan, as dangerous as it was worked, and is still working.

Today is the best of all. The steamiest of the steamy second honey moon we are in. First, we stayed in bed until midday. Thankfully, Joey had travelled and Philo had gone to stay somewhere for the meantime. So, no one was around to spoil our day. And I got the chance to try out making love in the bathtub again. The first time we tried it, it was a disaster. Right after our wedding, we wanted to do something remarkable – a mind-blowing coitus we could remember unto our old-age.

We had lodged in a small hotel located within our budget, and I quickly ran a bath, added bathing soaps and fragrance I bought specially for that purpose. I slipped into the warm water and waited for Jimmy. He came in a couple of minutes later, naked and handsome like a sumptuous ready-to-eat chocolate dish.

The water splashed around as Jimmy joined me and we embraced awkwardly. I didn’t envisage it would require special skill to be able to maneuver around a small bathtub. The damn thing was as hard and as rugged as any tub found in a cheap hotel could be. My ass was fast going numb from contact with the hard surface, and Jimmy’s weight pressing down on me made it even worse.

I suggested I come on top. As I did, I couldn’t manage my legs well to straddle him. The tub was too cramped. In fact I scraped my leg on something and I winced with pain.

I almost sprained Jimmy’s half erect paddle getting it into me. There was no room to do that well too. I started moving cautiously. I had wanted it to be somewhat wild and carefree, but I now had to put the condition of the tub into consideration. I felt sorry for Jimmy; his tall frame was all cramped up and he seemed to be in pain. But he put up a brave face.

In the middle of it all, Jimmy got soap into his eyes and it stung him. We tried to rinse his eyes with water and the tap had run dry. We ended up using the towel to wipe soap from our bodies and drinking water to wash his eyes. His eyes were red for days. It was like the fragrance I added to the bathing water wasn’t good for him. I felt guilty for putting him through that. I stomped to the reception and offloaded my frustration on the management.

So, this Saturday, I was able to do it right. We had installed a Jacuzzi when we moved into our house. The house was ours so we could afford to splurge on it. So, we had a nice bathtub built for what I had in mind. I ran a steamy bath and invited Jimmy for a bath.

My bum felt comfortable as I planted it on the luxurious bathtub and as Jimmy lowered himself on me, I had enough room to wrap my legs around his hips, even to later straddle him and roll my waist roundly. This was the kind of period you are glad you were married.

After that steamy love-making, we went back to bed for dessert. Later in the day we went to our favourite isi-ewu joint for a treat.


I went to early morning service. No need to remain in bed when Jimmy wasn’t there to give me hot morning pepper soup. As we entered the church, my day suddenly spoilt. Right there at the gate was Jimmy’s ex-girlfriend. The girl he went out with for almost seven years before he met me. She had walked out on their relationship because she felt he wasn’t being committed enough.

He wasn’t talking marriage. I met him and married him within one year. She attended our wedding and gave us a gift I immediately chucked into a trash can. I am not the kind of girl that would ever go to my ex’s wedding. To prove what? That I am not hurt that he didn’t marry me after seven years? There must be something wrong with her.

Now, she was smiling at us like a benevolent angel. I knew she knew we were yet to have children. She must be gloating over my predicament and covering it up with a phony smile.

‘Bekky, how are you?’ Jimmy greeted her, and she hugged him; a seemingly harmless church hug that didn’t fool me. I gave her a tight smile. She wasn’t deterred.

‘Tomorrow is my birthday, Jimmy, and I want you to come. My mother and the rest of the family are asking about you. They will all be there, including the old gang. Gbenga, Emeka and co,’ she prattled on.

‘I will think about it,’ Jimmy replied.

I left them there and entered the church. To show her I wasn’t threatened, one bit, by her presence. Jimmy joined me later and the sermon commenced without me asking him what he talked about with Bekky, the shameless ex. I even saw her from across the pews, pretending not to be sneaking looks at my husband.

Well, I know how to deal with her kind. During testimony time, I put up my hand and walked to the front to collect the microphone from the pastor. “I want you all to thank Baba God for me,” I cried with joy, “because of the kind of husband he gave to me. He is so caring and loving. Every day, he shows me how much he loves me dearly. The other day, devil wanted to use a woman to create asunder between us, but we overcame it. She came with lies and evil in her heart, thinking my husband would succumb, but God took all the glory.”

The church was clapping as I made my way back to my chair. A bewildered Jimmy was even more dazed when I planted a kiss on his cheek as I sat down. I smiled.

Folks, the easiest way you can broadcast something is to give a testimony in church. If you want people to know you have arrived and no longer in their league, go and testify how God has blessed you with millions or whatever. According to how big your testimony is determines the new status you will get and the new friends that would flock around you.

Well, I had just warned off any predator thinking the coast was clear because I am yet to give my husband a child. I had just revealed to them how my husband loves me and how God is ready to deal with any witch coming close to us. And it is also a way to publicly declare our commitment to each other.

Now, Jimmy would strive to live up to expectation based on what I told the congregation. Everybody now knows he is a loving husband, so he would not want to disappoint them. Psychology 101.

At the end of the service, I no see Bekky’s break light at all.

We got home and continued our prolonged honeymoon jare. See you next week for more steamy details.

-Ify Chemieziem

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