Connect with us


6 dating tips for single mothers



There are workable dating tips for single mothers especially after many months of emotionally recovering from divorce or the loss of your spouse, you finally feel as if you’re ready to get back into the dating game. You feel stable, secure and mentally able to move on. However, you won’t be moving on alone; you have children to consider.

For many mothers, dating can be an issue. They feel uncomfortable, guilty and worry how to handle awkward situations like telling a man they have children and when to do introductions between that man and their children.

While dating with children can be a new challenge for you, it does not have to be an unpleasant experience. Follow these tips to improve your chances of not only finding your way through the world of dating, but enjoying the journey as well.

Make Sure You Know Who You Are: While divorce or the loss of a spouse can be an emotional roller coaster that leaves little time for self-exploration, before you venture on to unknown territories make sure you’re familiar with your own first. By this I mean, re-evaluate your priorities. What do you really want out of a relationship this time round? What type of man will make you happy? What did you sacrifice or compromise on in your prior relationship that you refuse to do again? Answering these questions puts you in a clearer state of mind when you begin dating.

Talk To Your Child: When you feel that you are ready to begin dating again, discuss those feelings with your child. Make it clear to them, if this conversation is applicable, that you are in no way trying to find a replacement father for them, but instead you are simply looking for new companionship or friendship for yourself. Create an open forum where they can ask questions and express concerns and address those questions and concerns the best that you can.

Read also: How to deal with a stressful relationship

Go Slow: When you begin dating again, do just that; date, don’t fall in love right away. Of course many will argue that the heart wants what the heart wants and I agree that is often the case. However, a heart that’s been broken or feels empty is notorious for confusing like for love. Do not allow your loneliness to trick you into another relationship that you’re not ready for.

Spit It Out: Many mothers wonder when is a good time to tell a date that they have children. The answer to that question is simple; right away. Now, I do not mean that if a man approaches you and asks your name you should reply, “Hi I’m Sarah and I have four kids.” What I am saying is that once introductions turn into an actual date, lay it out there.

Save The Introductions For Later: Yes, you may be dating again, and hey maybe you’re lucky enough to be dating quite a bit but that doesn’t mean that your children have to meet a single one of them. Whether your newly found single lady life is due to divorce or less fortunate circumstances, parading an entourage of men in front of your children is never a good idea. Having them meet Joe Smith one month, the growing tired of Joe and bringing in John Doe the next month will only confuse your children.

Children Come First, End of Question: While there are always exceptions to this rule, generally speaking it’s a no brainer. If your new man is at any time cruel to your children, acts as if your children are a bother to him or even hints at an “It’s them or me” type of ultimatum, time to send that man on a one way tip to “Mama don’t play that” land. Yes, if you fall in love again you will have to make this man a priority and do things just for him, but your children, especially until they are much older, are just that; children.

RipplesNigeria …without borders, without fears

Join the conversation


Support Ripples Nigeria, hold up solutions journalism

Balanced, fearless journalism driven by data comes at huge financial costs.

As a media platform, we hold leadership accountable and will not trade the right to press freedom and free speech for a piece of cake.

If you like what we do, and are ready to uphold solutions journalism, kindly donate to the Ripples Nigeria cause.

Your support would help to ensure that citizens and institutions continue to have free access to credible and reliable information for societal development.

Donate Now