OPINION: Of Toxic Gender Culture and the Nigerian Society

Our society is practicing toxic gender ideas and behaviors that need to be corrected as it causes nothing but harm to the nation. The toxic culture is how the Nigerian society raises only men to be strong and tough because they believe only men should not cry and those the men who wail would be labelled weak. Nigeria’s faith is that life is a battlefield and men alone are the suitable warriors that can conquer the battle.

To move past and heal from this long-term existing problem of gender ideas and behaviors, we have to look into the sources of the dilemma and provide regenerating remedies to each of them. Some of the curing measures are not far-fetched and may include something as neglected as parents’ speech. Parents’ speeches in airing their opinion on how they feel about gender imbalance takes a huge part in bringing forth toxic gender culture.

Parents are the first and everlasting teachers and mentors of their children, their child, in most cases, always would follow their words of encouragement no matter what. Thus, parents should take note of how they motivate their children; they should not scare the women and brave the men with their speech as something as powerful as a biased speech has enormous things it gears up in their wards.

Parents should be impartial in raising boys and girls as they both deserve the same training to become the best of their kind, engaging one particular gender in the hard task only and leaving the other out is nothing but barbarism. I have witnessed homes that train their male teenagers how to work hard for their family, while the female children are only trained to cook because they believe their lives will later end in the kitchen. This always prompts some ladies to become liable to their husbands after getting married.

Right from birth to the maturity stage, parents do tell male children to be stronger than female children because they are the ones to house the female children; take care of them, feed them, and provide for their financial needs. This message always threatens men to be strong and tough to satisfy their parents and become responsible husbands too. Working on this aspect by treating male children with ease and training female children on how to be just assistants to their future husbands will enable men to live a comfort live but make women obey the orders only just like slaves.

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The Constitution Should also be Reviewed

The portion of Nigeria’s constitution that is based on human rights should make everyone equal before the law. Despite Nigeria being one of the countries fond of saying “what a man can do, a woman can do better,” it is not every government office, a workplace that women are allowed to hold, so there should be functioning lawsuits that will enforce equality before the law.

It shouldn’t be only men that will be running helter-skelter for the progress of the family and the society at large. Men fail in many big positions too, solely because they’re too alone in the knowledge to see from a woman’s angle. And when they do so and fail, they begin to cry and people call them weak. As the theology is that a strong man should not cry. This act of labeling them weak people after the pain they have gone through even actually threatens some of them with death – particularly suicide. According to research, World Health Organization (WHO) reported about five thousand, one hundred and ten (5,110) suicide cases for men in the year 2019.

Provision of Job Opportunities

To be blunt, it is not every parent that wishes to raise their male children toughly, it is the fault of poverty attimes. The only way to quell this poverty is that if there is a job for parents to earn sufficient income, they would raise their children politely. Parents work because of their children, so being financially buoyant will trigger them to spend their wealth on them instead of leaving them to survive on their own, as is common in our society.

In this century, parents should avert torturing their children to follow the arduous cycle they have accomplished. Though they want them to be sharp, bright, strong, and wise it makes them tough, callous, fierce, and brutal.

One brilliant Nigerian writer, Muhyideen Kolawole, advised parents; “Your children don’t need to suffer for meat when you have it. Except for occasional teachings, don’t normalize it. The same hellish mode of learning you underwent is not good now for these children with soft skin. A wife you are bringing from a wealthy house shouldn’t be used to carrying out ’90s experiments. Hunger is not a punishment, it changes your children’s orientation and teaches them bad alternatives. Don’t tell unnecessary stories of how hard you made it, will you help or not? Making it easy after getting it hard tells how kind and merciful you’re.”

Human Trafficking Has to Stop!

Lawfully, human trafficking is illegal, nevertheless, many people venture into it without regrets, this is quite outrageous and has to be stopped by all means because it culminates in the act of raising men to be strong and tough. In the journey of this evil deed, many talents have become latent; several skills have been killed and numerous glory have been buried. Various youths — leaders of tomorrow have been forced to do crimes, extorted, deceived, and sent to perform dangerous tasks before they could be allowed to eat to live.

However, some parents that involve their youngsters in this filthy game cannot boldly signify where they are and how they are living. Parents of our society should raise men reasonably; avert the deadly ideas of how to raise the male gender; endeavor is legal paying jobs; disregard human trafficking, and watch how they’ll start inspiring the new and upcoming generations.

In conclusion, there’s no one way to raise only the men that is different from how to raise the female. Parents should know that every act of gender imbalance starts from here and jettison all acts that head this path. Females should be brought up the same way males are persuaded to. If this can be eradicated, the occurrence such as toxic gender culture, gender discrimination, imbalance or inequality, or inequity shall have nowhere to hide in our flourishing societies.

AUTHOR: Abdulrasheed Akere

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Articles published in our Graffiti section are strictly the opinion of the writers and do not represent the views of Ripples Nigeria or its editorial stand.

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