Graffiti

Employment For Ghosts!

Published

6 years ago

January 19, 2018

By SOC Okenwa…

Late last December 2017 President Muhammadu Buhari appointed some chairmen and members of boards of government agencies and parastatals. In total about 209 board chairpersons and 1,258 board members were announced as having been so appointed. But among the appointees featured names of dead men and women long buried and forgotten by their friends and relatives! Perhaps they were given the Lazarus treatment and ‘honoured’ with employments — a scarce commodity in the country today. Among those no longer with us in flesh and blood but considered worthy of employment were the late Senator Francis Okpozo, Rev Fr Christopher Utov, DIG Donald Ugbaja (retd), Garba Attahiru, Umar Dange, Magdalene Kumu, Dr Nabbs Imegwu and Comrade Ahmed Bunza.

Following the public outrage that trailed the presidential appointment of the glorified ghosts, the President had ordered the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Mr. Boss Mustapha, to review the entire list. The review, it was learnt, was meant to ascertain all nominees that needed replacement on the released list. The list was said to have been compiled by the former Secretary to the Government of the Federation (SGF) Babachir David Lawal in 2015 but could not be released because some Governors had kicked against same saying they were not consulted or taken along in the preparation of the infamous list.

By releasing the list without cross-checking facts on the ground the Buhari administration had committed a presidential ‘crime’ that showed the extent of confusion if not paralysis in Aso Villa. Pray, why would a responsible government fail to ascertain the present status of individuals being considered for appointments? In a nation where joblessness is tormenting a good number of employable young men and women was it not genial for jobs to be distributed to those that had left us? So we are now seeking out the dead (with magical powers) to work for us?

Following the controversy that greeted the appointments the presidential media Assistant Mallam Garba Shehu had risen in sharp defense of the executive gaffe saying that the error would be rectified. But Prof. Itse Sagay, the Chairman of Presidential Advisory Committee Against Corruption (PACAC), went a step further by labelling those criticising the federal government as “senseless, stupid and idle minds”. Sagay is known to be courting controversy so there is nothing new in his wild take on the issue. He is always out to prove his nuisance to the system.

In a society where data is not considered a serious business of governance; in a nation where details only matter when Naira, Dollar, Pounds or Euro are involved we are in a serious trouble indeed! If the present SGF up to the VP that scrutinized the nomination and sent to the President for his approval did not do their homework or research well enough then the blame must lie somewhere. We are Buharists (the ebbing conviction nothwithstanding) but that ugly development rattled us to no end.

The Garba Shehus and Itse Sagays defending the indefensible must be told that only in Nigeria could such presidential tactlessness take place. The inability of the government to account for the dead and the living among us is a baffling reminder of our national degeneration. Even in India and China (with a combined population half of humanity) such executive blunder could not have happened. Alas Nigeria is a “fantastically corrupt” country where governance is nothing short of a political game for oppressive dominance of the elite.

Is it not a national shame that a national government whose ‘change’ mantra included creating jobs for a growing number of restive youths could not determine the present state of those compatriots lying still six feet below for months or years? In other words, could not distinguish the dead from the living? With a population speculated to be more than three million restless souls Nigeria prides itself as a society that loves God. But more than such admiration or reverence for Trinity or divinity we are a set of people that kill our own for inexcusable reasons.

Almost all those dead men and women offered the unsolicited employment had worked for the nation one way or the other in their life-times yet they were pencilled down for more ‘services’ to the nation as if competent hands worthy of the vacant positions no longer existed amongst us. But now that the Buhari presidency has found out that an unpardonable indefensible error of judgement had been committed the best thing to have been done was to have tendered an unreserved apology to the nation rather than sounding dismissive, combative or defensive. Garba Shehu and Itse Sagay misfired by saying what they said in defense of nonsense.

Governance is more than partisan employment opportunities; it entails meticulous planning and an eagle eye for the details no matter how minute. An administration that could commit such blunder exposes itself to all manner of accussations chiefly of which is recklessness and confusion. Such a governmant at the centre stands accused of gross incompetence and deserves some electoral sanction!

However, we acknowledge that the appointment of ‘ghosts’ into offices in Nigeria is not a new phenomenon. In the federal ministries, departments and agencies ghost workers abound. In some cases you discover that some well-placed workers collect wages on behalf of the ghosts that work and exist in the wild imagination of the unpatriotic element(s). And when an internal probe or audit seldom discovered the existence of revenant workers in the system heads do not roll as responsibility is spurned and the evil day postponed!

Across the states in the federation one could ubiquitously find ghost teachers and lecturers, ghost soldiers and policemen, ghost students and even parents! In a beleaguered nation where innocent blood is daily shed on a flimsy excuse of a loss of a cow ghosts could of course rise from their graves to lay claim to a life wasted untimely. The bloody republic could therefore expect ghosts to invade our space seeking vengeance against say, Boko Haram or the Fulani herdsmen, henchmen et al.

When he spent months on medical tourism in the United Kingdom President Buhari’s state of health became a subject of wicked rumours and innuendoes. Someone even claimed uncharitably then that the President was long dead and buried sectretly in London! For the fugitive oriental “terrorist” a so-called “Jubril from Sudan” was created by the northern cabal to replace the deceased old lanky General. So if we could take such malicious allegation jocularly to a level of credulity then we can imagine a ghost presiding over our national affairs! Yet it goes without saying that presidential infirmity and mortality had been with us from time immemorial. So in the event of a sitting President dropping dead an executive vacancy would normally be created. And to fill same an elitist ‘ghost’ could lay claim, legitimately or otherwise, to the exalted vacant seat in the Villa!

During the ill-fated military dictatorship of Gen. Ibrahim Babangida (1985-93) there was this crude determination by the crafty dictator to generously distribute jobs to the jackboot boys, his boys. Then, the ‘Maradona’ was reputed to be very good at rewarding loyalty, donating jobs and privileges (cars, settlement et al) to his legion of friends including the notorious IBB Boys –some of whom were said to be ‘yan-daudus’ (gays). Those that manifested strong belief in Babangidaism were generously rewarded with promotions and wealth via contracts. The Oghehas, the Gwadabes, the Rasakis, the Nwosus, the Dasukis, name them.

And now that we have another retired General in the saddle what we have under Buharism seems to be jobs for the dead! Buharism, given this singular presidential indiscretion, seems to have unraveled, turning full circle in the process of demystification. Perhaps, unbeknownst to the rest of us, lesser mortals, the President and his APC ruling party had discreetly modified the ‘change’ mantra to include provision of employmrent for ghosts!

While we mockingly hail the APC national government for this novel ‘innovation’ that could ordinarily win an award at home and abroad we cannot but lament the unfolding progressive confusion, nay incompetence, at the pinnacle of power.

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